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Opening
Day – The Worst Scenario
All seemed well as we approached
Official
opening day,
We’d
had a few small hiccoughs
But
nothing serious I’d say
So
on this opening morning
I
thought I’d better check
But
what a shock when I got there
I
found the place a wreck !
Malcolm’s
face was white and drawn
He
seemed bereft of smiles
He
said the wind had got up through the night
And
blown off all the tiles
And
that’s not all, the rain that came
Has
brought the ceiling down
And
Neil the joiner’s so upset
He’s
packed and leaving town
Then
I heard he’d left the country
And
he’d scarpered with the plaque
And
I only had ‘til
two o’clock
No
chance to get it back
Then
Melvyn like a man possessed
He
must have hit some snags
For
there he was out front with pick
He’d
ripped up all the flags
All
the chairs and tables vanished
And
Ken Charlton came to say
The
firm had been to take them back
Because
we couldn’t pay
To
cap it all our architect
His
face an awful frown
Said
Wear Valley Chairman says
We
must pull the whole place down
I
thought I’ll send for Gordon Dobson
He
usually knows what’s to be done
But
when he saw the chaos said
John,
you’re on your own old son !
Well,
by now my knees were knocking
And
the sweat dripped from my brow
I’ve
got sixty guests arriving
I’m
in a right old pickle now
Then
I got a funny feeling
It’s
not as bad as it may seem
For
I awoke this opening morning
Thank
god it’s all a dream !
© John Anderson, July 2005
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